What is 'breadcrumbing' and how to deal with it

Breadcrumbing is a new context in modern dating and relationships.

This refers to the behavior of a person who sends irregular and often vague messages to keep the other person interested or engaged.

This person has actually no intention of being fully committed or entering into a relationship.

Those being breadcrumbed may experience frustration, confusion, and disappointment since they are receiving a false sense of hope for a future relationship.

To avoid being breadcrumbed, here are the red flags that you should watch out for:

1. They only give you attention when you tell them.

Weena Wise, L.C.M.F.T., a relationship expert in the Washington, D.C., metropolitan area said, "If they rarely ever initiate contact on their own or demonstrate that they are interested in you without you reaching out, then this may be a sign."

2. They are not consistent.

According to Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., breadcrumbers are sporadic and unpredictable in their expression of interest in you.

3. They only give reassurance when you lose interest.

"If a person is only willing to show you the attention you desire when you feel like giving up, this may be a sign that they are more interested in keeping you on standby than pursuing something in real-time," Wise said.

4. Their actions do not match their statements.

Vagdevi Meunier, Psy.D., a licensed professional psychologist, said that if the person you are dating is just satisfying you with "vague and ambiguous references to the potential for the relationship," without any actions to back up their words, then it could be a sign of breadcrumbing.

5. They seem to be warm toward you then turn cold.

Campbell said, "They take a long time to respond to your messages." And sometimes they are showing sweet gestures and suddenly send you cold shoulder.

6. They have actions that are hard to explain.

Campbell said, "You are often left confused or frustrated after interacting with them."

Here are the steps to deal with breadcrumbing:

1. Trust your instincts.

If you feel something is wrong with the person you are dating, trust your instincts. If someone is unclear about their feelings and intentions towards you, leave him or her. Don't waste your time with a person who does not have good intentions for you.

2. Get support from a trusted friend.

If you are unsure if you are being breadcrumbed, it is helpful to discuss it with a trusted friend or family member. It is very important to be open with feedback or advice even if you do not necessarily like it.

3. Set and maintain boundaries.

Always assess your feelings and situation, you have to determine what you're comfortable and not okay with in terms of communication, and commitment.

If that person does not respect your boundaries and the breadcrumbing persists, it may be better to end the relationship right away.

4. Be direct.

Have an honest talk with that person; label the behavior that bothers you.

When you are experiencing breadcrumbing behavior, it is better to call the breadcrumber out. If their behavior is intentional, it is unlikely that they will change.

5. Practice self-care.

If you choose to end a relationship or connection with a breadcrumber, you must learn how to practice self-care by prioritizing your needs and doing activities that make you feel good.

Always remember that your emotional well-being is important and you are worthy of a relationship where you feel valued and respected.

Being breadcrumbed can cause feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, and depression. That is why it is important to look after your emotional and psychological needs.

If you are struggling to leave a breadcrumbing person, you must consider reaching out for support from a professional or a friend.